Listen to Your Self (Not Yourself)
Therapy is weird. Really, it is. Because, what even is therapy?
As professionals, there’s a lot of different opinions about what it could and should be, and as clients, people have all different kinds of experiences in therapy. Today, I’m going to write about what I offer in therapy to my clients – which might be different from what you’ve experienced before or from what other clinicians offer. Cool. This is just a glimpse into one way therapists and clients can work together – and it’s my favorite kind of therapy.
I think it’s also the hardest to describe because in this context, as a therapist, I am simply a mirror. I show up, make space for you, and reflect yourself back to you. I help you hear yourself – and by that I mean I help you hear the words you are saying, but also, I help you clear out all the crap (other people’s expectations, societal expectations, stereo-types, limiting beliefs) so that you can actually hear YOUR SELF.
Not yourself. Your self. As in, the possessive form of the second person pronoun “you”. The self that belongs to you – I help you hear it. Your true feelings, thoughts, believes, desires, and goals. I stand back, and help you find you.
Because the truth is – I don’t have the answers you need. I don’t know what you need or how you feel. I don’t know if you should break up with him or give it another try. I don’t know if you’ll be happy with a mid-life career change. I don’t know if you should hold strong, no-contact boundaries with toxic members of your family or try to maintain the relationship. I. Don’t. Know.
But you do.
You just don’t realize it.
I believe inside of each and everyone of us, we have a core. It’s the thing inside us that makes us…us. Where you know, instinctually, what you want, how you feel, what you think, and what you need.
My work is to help you learn how to connect with that inside of yourself and learn to hear it so you can start living a life that is lead by your self – instead of one lead by other people’s/systems voices and opinions or your own limiting beliefs and stories you’ve been stuck in for too long.
Honestly – I kind of visualize it like Clark Kent learning to use his super hearing. When he engages it at first, it’s a cacophony of a million sounds and it’s incredibly overwhelming and jarring. Seriously – I can barely stand to watch those scenes in Smallville. But, as he learns to focus, he can tune in with total precision to the one thing he’s trying to hear and it becomes crystal clear while everything else fades into the background. The work I do with clients is like helping them learn to use their own super hearing, internally. My clients learn to tune in with precision and they gain clarity when they can hear their own inner voice.
Now, imagine how different life would be if you could actually hear your self. If you could actually live your life lead by your self. What would be different? How would it be different? How would you be different?
Like I said at the beginning, this isn’t the only kind of therapy out there – mental health is a broad field. This is just the space I live in as a therapist. And I love what I do.